wholesale acrylic jewelry display stand Fan Deng Reading Club "How to raise a girl"

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It's book "Raven Boy" was warmly welcomed by our members. Those members with thousands of money will ask us with jealousy, when to talk about "Raising Girls" Intersection Don't you focus on men and women, right? The author was also asked by the author, so he wrote this sister.

In we want to come, boys and girls are not the same, boys may be skinny, girls will be quiet; parents with boys and girls at home will know that boys like to play cars and guns since they were young , Girls may love plush toys. In short, are they so different? Or is it so big that we need to distinguish it?

It finish reading this book, you will find that they are really different. Their development, intelligence, hobbies, dating, learning, and exercise are almost different. Girls need mothers even more, boys depend on their father. Of course, parents are important and indispensable to anyone. But you need to understand that you will have a significant difference in your meaning and attention.

In the words of the author to explain the meaning of raising your daughter: When your daughter grows up, you can see you give her childhood and the strength and quality she possesses now Related. When you leave, an excellent woman will continue to live, and she also passes everything you teach her to her offspring!

Girls Sanhui:
n Faster than boys, especially in terms of brain capabilities, as early as the mother's uterus, their bodies began to secrete estrogen. As soon as they were born, their development level was a few weeks earlier than boys. In terms of speaking, writing, and painting, girls can also lead boys for 6 to 12 months. When reading kindergartens, girls are also less anxious than boys. In terms of development, girls have entered their adolescence two years earlier than boys. When the boy is still ignorant, the girl is already a little lady; the boy's brain is about 20 years old, and the girl's brain will be two or three years in the morning.

The author introduced the story of the two 17 -year -old girls at the beginning. Casey and Ginavv. They were good friends in elementary school, but they parted ways when they grew up. Casey is the kind of fashionable and cold girl. The reason was that when she was 14 years old, she participated in a friend's birthday party. They all drank too much. A high -grade handsome guy she liked seduced her sexual relationship, but the boy didn't love her at all and laughed at her with others. Since then, she has changed from a lively girl to a cold and cold campus hot girl. She began to take the initiative to tease those boys and then abandon. At the age of 17, she had sex with 7 boys. Casey's parents were busy at work. They asked the children to be independent and did not know their daughter's affairs at all. It was not until Casey's alcoholic addiction and her grades was messy.

Ginavifol has a very close mother who is very close to her. They have everything to talk about a boyfriend Justin at the age of 15. Justin has had sexual experience with other girls. Therefore, he especially wanted to do that with Ginavv, but Ginavifu didn't want to show her confusion with her mother. Her mother was not furious or rebuked, but she helped her explore her needs. Feeling and strict restrictions on the time and place of their date. In the end, the little couple broke up because of this problem. Although she suffered for a while. When Justin later asked her to reunite, she clearly rejected it. She grew up.

For Casey's final story, will she come out of psychological counseling? We will finally reveal it.

. The 5th stage of the girl's growth:

is not the same as the boy's three stages. The author divides the girl's growth into 5 stages:

First stage: Born until the age of 2-sense of security, is I loved, whether I am safe

The second stage: 2 years old-5 years old-explore, whether the world is interesting and happy

In third stage: 5-year-old-10 years old-to associate with others, can I get along well with others

stage fourth stage: 10-year-old Discover true happiness

Fifth stage: 14-18 years old-into the adult world, can I be responsible for myself

The first stage: I want Safe (born to 2 years old)

The early life is the fastest period of brain growth. It is love, smile, singing and various interesting interactions that help them grow their brain. Researchers used high -speed cameras to record the interaction between mother and baby, and found that there was a tacit echo between the mother and the baby. These conversations can help the child confirm the mother's love for her, which helps her notice others after an adult. Emotion, learn to be empathy.

But if the mother's response is a little delayed, the baby will crazy and make a fierce cry. At this time, her mother responded with her unique voice, such as "What's wrong, oh, dear, baby", she quickly calmed down. After being soothed thousands of times, her brain gradually formed a passage from pressure to relax, which is also a channel she will use in the future.

Is all know that the importance of interpersonal communication, but in fact, the critical period is 6-12 months. The baby values ​​who is by her side, and the girl is more sensitive than the boy's social relationship. Babies will not soothe themselves, so they are easy to be irritable, hum, crying, carers need to help them calm down, hold them up, comfort her, and help him relax. If mothers are emotional during pregnancy, they will have a very bad impact on the baby.

The baby needs to be calm and soothing, but it also needs to be excited and happy. For example, hiding with cat games, dads will throw the children in the air high and run away. Studies have shown that children who grow up with their dads are much higher than those who only play mild games.

The play with children is very important. Playing can stimulate their brain potential. Those who love to play are good at innovation, and children who grow up in a happy state are not dicing, not muddy, vitality, vitality Completely. The author hates various early education programs in this period. Don't give her children to some strangers. Remember what she really needs you!

The second stage: learning exploration (2 years old to 5 years old)

The focus of this stage of girls is to explore. We must know that art and sports ability are from all. Start at this stage of 1 to 5 years old. Studies have shown that the way parents speak to their children are different. For boys, it may be more concepts such as numbers, space, etc., and for girls, they emphasize feelings and beauty more. That is to say, we accidentally start to instill the rational feelings of the boy inadvertently, and the girl emphasizes the emotional experience. In fact, you can talk to your daughter to talk about numbers and building blocks, which is of great benefit to cultivating their digital space.

does not need to buy new trendy toys for children with batteries and flashing lights. Those things are actually unusable, which will not help cultivate children's hands -on and exploration ability. If the children's toys and dolls are piled up, they can not start, prepare a few toys for the children, put them in a box that is convenient and easy to get, and often change a few. For girls, some waste paper, color pens, crayons, pigments, waste cards, and stickers are a very creative toy library.

Please remember the most important thing in nature. Electronic products are far less important for them to them. If various learning activities such as piano are beginning to start prematurely, it will damage her intelligence. Children need their own time, need the day dream and nothing to do, so as to make their imagination develop. Turn off the TV so that children can think and talk to themselves. With too many children of our only children, we can let children build a playmate group in the community.

It girls are undoubtedly more beautiful than boys, but some mothers make girls make makeup more beautifully. All kinds of beautiful fried skirts, beautiful headdress and shoes will only make the children's exploration hands and feet Instead, those convenient and strong clothes can make her play with water, mud, and paint unscrupulously. Do not buy the kind of toys that especially emphasize appearance and dress, girls will also like rockets, castles, trucks and farms.

This to teach girls to discipline and rules gentle but firmly help them deal with their feelings, especially when they are strong in emotions. Regarding these "How to Cultivate Children's Social Ability" taught by the reading club

The third stage: get along with others (5 years-10 years old)

Said that the baby does not have much interest in babies like her, because parents are more fun; children under the age of 3 can get along with each other for more than a few minutes. But at the age of 4 or 5, girls can be fun and fun together -such as playing with family who are not greasy. These games are the foundation of cultivating creativity, and we have learned how to communicate with others during playing.

For girls, friends are as important as oxygen. The boys of the same age do a work with friends, and may be confused together after an hour, but the girl and her friends are not so easy to come out after they are awkward. She needs parents to care about her and soothe her. You are her social interaction. The leader, but most of the cases you can do not need to intervene. When she asked for help, she can analyze it and give suggestions.

It in dating, the author gave 7 suggestions: friendly, sharing, empathy, controlling aggressiveness, apology, understanding of emotions, and knowing who can trust. Moreover, the mother is a role model for girls. If you often get out of control with your husband in front of your child, either she is completely different from you, or it is exactly the same. Therefore, it is very stupid to do that. In the relationship between mothers and babies, if there is no safe connection, then your child will have this problem in adulthood. Boys will escape or do not trust the mother; , Angry, she will be closer to her mother, trying to help her and comfort her. These girls are more willing to be with anxiety and depression when making friends, because these people have the shadow of mothers, she wants to help them.

The stage fourth stage: discovering the inner heart (10-14 years old)

At the senior elementary school, the girls are very adult, sensitive and mature, you think you can finally loosen The tone, but please pay attention, girls at this stage need more attention and companionship, need to teach, explain more, inquire more, and participate in more meaningful activities, instead of launching her to let her grow alone, to afford to bear, to afford it, to afford it alone, to afford it, to afford it alone, to afford it alone, to afford it alone, to afford it, and to afford it alone, to afford it, and to afford it alone, to afford it alone, to afford it alone, to afford it, Various pressures.

We often say that education is not filled with a bucket of water, but ignites a fire. Peter Bensen's spark theory of top experts in adolescence in the United States is very useful. He believes that all young children have some kind of flames. He divides the flames into three categories -talent (such as writing, painting), personality (courage, same as the same Here, undertaking a certain task (such as protecting nature), they can get huge happiness from them. Parents' tasks are to discover and strengthen their children's sparks. These sparks can make children perform happier, confident and healthy in schools at school Is there any more important thing than this?

In found soul. The soul is stationed in the heart of the child to help them judge right and wrong, which is Wang Yangming's "conscience". If you violate your conscience yourself, even if others don't say, you will hate yourself. The soul is creative. It is true self. Children need to discover it, admit it, and get along with it. In terms of discovering the soul, as boys need a father and male as a role model, girls also need an elderly woman who is an example to let her know how to become a powerful, connotative woman, such as teachers and coaches of some projects she likes. Her aunt and aunt, they should have the warmth and calmness of their hearts, but not tedious and bland, and appreciate and support your daughter. We hope that members can find such spiritual samples for their daughters, and also hope that mothers members play such roles to their niece and niece, such as often communicating with them, participating in their concerts and sports meetings, inviting them to you in you After night, understand their difficulties and troubles, and help them communicate better with their parents, so that you will understand your daughter more.

The fifth stage: prepare for adulthood (14-18 years old)

14 years old girl, she is already very high, she has passed the adolescence, very smart, why Can you let go? Or treat her as a friend at all, so adults will be a lot easier. But please remember, the answer is NO, think about Casey's example, this does not blame the children. The control center of the prefrontal cortex of their brain has not yet been "finished". When she is under pressure and nervous, the brain's "almond nucleus core nucleus core core "—— The center of impulse and emotional reactions will immediately control her. Therefore, at this time they still need parents, not friends, you need to stipulate that she must be at home in the evening, prohibit drinking, know where she is, who is with who is with, maybe it is a bit old -fashioned and unpopular. It is what responsible parents should do.

The children at this stage should learn independence, clear thinking, strong emotions, good treatment with others, and purpose, but this process is very difficult. There is such a case, 14 -year -old Marura passed the road with his classmates after school, and was severely injured by a large truck. He was killed and 5 people were seriously injured. After many surgery, she was basically normal like normal People live like a person, but suffered from severe trauma stress disorder. She was very afraid of approaching the road and cars. Her parents found her a psychological counselor, and they slowly established a good trust relationship. Essence On this day, the psychiatrist felt that it was time to talk about the core question. She asked Marla, who was responsible for this accident. Of course, Marula thought it was caused by the idiot driver who broke through the red light. At this time, the psychological counselor asked her Have you observed the past vehicles during the green light, and woke up Marula this time. She realized that she trusted the sidewalks and traffic lights too much. She talked and laughed with her classmates, and did not observe the surrounding environment at all. She realized her responsibility. Marla was successfully cured, and she was no longer afraid of highways and cars. This lesson is called "growth". Although it is too cruel, it tells girls that they should be responsible for themselves and keep them awake and alert. This can protect themselves.

The members of each of our parents will tell their children's case!

The danger and help: Casting the five major dangerous areas

1. Premature sexy do not need

Girls are concerned about beauty, fashion, makeup, hand -over, and sexual relations. They will be entangled in whether they are beautiful enough and whether their bodies are hot, but they are not enough to attach importance to mental health.

Is barely tolerate the boy when the girls are in their 10s. At the age of 14 or 15, I think the boy is interesting but annoyed, and will slowly find one or two good friends. The boy, she is willing to get along with him, date, and develop into a close relationship, but there are too many information channels in this world that make them understand sex. They think that sex is the way of love. The boyfriend will leave, so the premature sexual behavior happens. The University of Melbourne Betto conducted a survey on teenager's sexual problems and found that the number of girls with multiple personalized partners increased from 4%to 20%(2008) in 30 years, and in 2002, it was 10%.

First of all, like "Raising Boys", it is normal to teach children to distinguish between like, love and lust, and it is normal to tell children that they like the opposite sex. For color desires, we must resolutely quit.

Secondly, we must manage the information channels of the child's contact. We know that adults are watching TV for entertainment, and children are watching what the world is popular. TV tells children that the children's appearance is the most important, your figure is not good enough, and it is not a big deal. Remember that the children's bedroom must not let TV, and adults should basically not watch TV at home, do not buy those women's fashion magazines or avoid letting children see it. Manage the use of children's Internet access, electronic products and social tools, restrict the use time, and use it in a suitable environment for young people (such as Chinese green dam).

Perhaps the author's Australia is more open and avant -garde than China, and there are more problems, but in any case, mothers need to take on the education of their daughters on sexual issues!

2. Prevent bad girls

We often see some little girls bullying people in the media, and some are even particularly excessive. Get off. You must know that about 1/5 children have been bullied in school. This is a phenomenon that parents generally pay attention to.

The research on the bully group shows that although the families of such people are rich, they lack care, they know very badly for themselves. Points, and these people have a high proportion of depression, and they are prone to suicide tendency.

Thewed by bullying, the author believes that fighting is not a good solution, because she dares to bully you, which means that she is stronger than you, or she has a small gang. Tell your child to say your dissatisfaction loudly, and clearly say that you are angry and seeking help. This is useful measures. A global project "Rock and Water" initiated by the Netherlands, it is recommended to teach children to stand up to stand up, touch the other party with the other party, tell the other party to stop, and then walk away. Fear and obedience will only promote the flames of bad girls, she will always choose you as the object of bullying. Remember that Napoleon was bullied by a tall bad child when he was a kid, Napoleon's choice was to fight back, and he defeated repeatedly until the last tall service.

I also told her daughter that when her friends were bullied, they should bravely stand up to oppose bullying instead of weakly, so those bad girls dare not bully her, and even if it happened Her friends will help her.

If children's measures are useless, parents need to make a difference, adopt a calm, friendly and determined attitude to communicate with the school, teacher, and other parents, follow the effect of the processing. If it is invalid, if it is invalid, Resolutely transfer! Dads have to stand up in such incidents, cheer up for their daughters, and be a daughter's backing!

3. Let's lose weight

The countries currently getting rid of poverty are facing two issues related to weight: First, about 1/4 of children are "overweight "Or" obesity "; at the same time, there are many people's dietary disorders, not eating anything, and more and more girls fall into the latter situation. In fact, we should not pay more attention to weight, health is more important than weight! Enjoying food and exercise is the best.

It people who lose weight will choose to die, but 50 years of research finds that the dieting is almost invalid, and 95%of people will restore their weight within 2-5 years. You need to know that we humans have been getting rid of the famine for 200 years. The mechanism of our evolution from the Stone Age is: You are always eating, and your body thinks that you have encountered famine, so you must quickly increase your weight! In the body of the predator, Grahin, who is responsible for stimulating appetite, will increase by about 20%. And repeated foods will make us fatter and damage to the body even greater. Those who have weight control during adolescence will be significantly higher than their peers after adulthood. It is very unscientific to measure health with weight indicators.

Remembering that ridiculing fat people is a pathological behavior. The possibility of obese children is 63%higher than ordinary children; making children's diet cannot solve the problem, but it will make them feel that they are their own Wrong, some children smoke in adolescence and even 8%of the adolescence to lose weight in order to lose weight.

M mother should become a healthy role model. Don't pay too much attention to weight, do not discuss diet, do not watch those TV programs, and never consider weight loss. Do not have soft drinks in the refrigerator. The whole family eats together, do not start TV, and only discuss positive things when eating. Do not divide food into "good foods and junk foods", but "daily food and occasional food". Do not feel guilty to eat high -calorie foods. It will only let you swallow it. Remember that the whole family is exercising together, which will form a love of movement.

Once your daughter pays too much attention to weight, emotional changes are great, eating is very picky, and very painful, then you must be alert to dietary disorders. Early intervention is very critical, and you must choose professional treatment for professional treatment. division. Remember that diet disorders are a serious psychological disease, not ordinary diet.

4. Stay away from alcohol and drugs

In Australia, about 35%of alcohol is drank by children of school age. This is illegal, and wine is provided by their parents. of. Many parents think that it doesn't matter if you drink less wine, as well as the so -called "Mediterranean", let the child drink a small taste of red wine during meals. This is completely wrong. Studies have confirmed that even if a teenage child drinks less, it will change the brain in a very amazing way. Their kidneys and liver have not been fully developed, and they cannot quickly absorb alcohol as adults, so they cause severe harm to the brain, and teenagers are habitually drinking. 60%. Not to mention dangerous things like after wine. Therefore, it is very suitable for the United States to take 21 years of age for alcohol. Of course, let alone drugs such as drugs.

The children's distance between alcohol and drugs has nothing to do with richness, has nothing to do with the level of education, and has nothing to do with intelligence and ability. The only factor is from the supervision and guidance of parents. Parents need to let their children's harm to the body of alcohol and drugs to the body, where they are, the rules and bottom lines of whom they get along, and through friendly but resolute negotiations, let them understand their responsibilities and ensure that they have the ability to ensure their own safety.

. Remember not to give your children drinking. Parents occasionally drink a drink. It is enough to drink some festivals, especially when the pressure is high, otherwise she will see you "need" alcohol, Bad examples are far more important than words and deeds. rn rn 5、撕破网络世界的面纱rn rn 我们的生活再也离不开网络了，但网络世界的负面也随之而来了：r N
Stocks replaced real interpersonal communication. Young girls no longer want to be offline. Facebook, Instagram, WeChat, Weibo, QQ space have information at any time, and mobile phones do not leave their pillows during sleep. Because it is a virtual world, there are vicious comments prevailing, which has caused great harm to children. For example, there is a comment on the obese girl: "You need a hug ... on your neck ... use a rope ..." The suicide caused by cyber bullying has also occurred repeatedly.

The pornographic information on the network is full of sky. Australia has 53%of girls under 13 years of age, and the proportion of 16 -year -old girls has reached 97%. They use a search engine to pop up countless irrelevant pornographic information when doing homework. This is a child who has seen sexual violence without sexual experience. Studies have shown that this will induce boys to force girls to perform sexual behaviors, and girls will be confused. Women are tools for men. She will also be confused, according to porn, she should enjoy these.

Is what should parents do: you have to talk in depth with your child, let her understand the convenience of the Internet, and also know the traps and dark side of the Internet everywhere; Account, but to be set to maximum privacy protection, you have to become their friends, tell the children's parents that they only care about your security; install the web filtering system for the child's computer, you need to pay attention to her online record; The time of the product is limited, especially the electronic screen must not be used before bedtime; the most important thing is that you have to maintain a smooth communication channel with your child. Keep enough patience and alertness.

It girls and their parents

girls and mothers

Mom is a role model for daughter. For 95%of the girls, the influence of the same sex is the greatest, and it is generally the meaning of their mothers to let them know how to become a woman. At different stages of her life, she may admire her mother, hate her mother, admire him, and accuse her, but no daughter will think she is not important.

The read will have repeatedly talked about "mirror neurons" -When we saw the behavior of we seeing others into a way of doing things unknowingly. So, prepare, your daughter will be you! How do you get along with your friends? How do you face stress? How do you relax? Especially how do you get along with your lover? Are you a rage tribe, do you have a sudden outbreak of emotions? With a child, you want to install a checker for your various behaviors.

Ne your child to understand your values, such as paying attention to safety, consideration of others, keeping promise, necessary concessions and compromises, short -term and long -term attitudes, diligence and harvest. Although she may disagree with it, they will gradually adopt your opinion.

Is after the girls enter the school, if you can create a regular and rhythmic life for them, it will help children calm down from the school's noisy and competitive environment, such as The whole family eats together, sleeps in a fixed time (reading before bed), and often arranges some out -of -event activities, some intellectual competitions (fits, lyrics) activities, birthday party, and talks with parents alone or traveling.

Im remembering that letting go is inevitable, it is part of helping her grow. At the age of 16, she will not want you to accompany her too much. The better you cultivate her, the farther she will go, but the longer you know that the child who is nourished, the longer the space distance, the closer the heart is with her mother.

It girls and dads

The research shows that if dad invested more in cultivating her daughter, she will show more self -confidence, better grades, and rarely appear in rarely. Girls' pregnancy, alcoholism or drug abuse. If dads do more housework, their daughters will be more confident to choose some challenging jobs, such as becoming leaders and scientists.

The child will judge whether this tall and strong guy at home is threatened or safe? If you want your child to feel safe, you need to speak at home with a gentle voice, not only to her, but also all family members. If you want to play horse -riding and wrestling games with him, pretend to be defeated by her, she will be very excited and feel that you are protecting her.

The psychologist found that the role of father and mother for girls is complementary. Moms make girls feel at ease, and Dad gives them confidence. And the relationship between Dad and her daughter is the basis for her to get along with men in the future. If Dad respects her and listened to her opinion, she will not accept other boys who do not respect her; if Dad often jokes with her, discuss some profound discussions with her, and discuss some profound ones with her. The topic, she will be more confident and not manipulated by others; if her father is often happy to play with her, she will know that she is very attractive and is liked by others!

The adolescent daughters will do it with their dads. Dad is not pleasing to her daughter, and her daughter wants to be herself. Dad wants to control her daughter, and her daughter treats control with hostility. However, it is recommended that dads know something. The emotions of adolescent daughters are difficult to control. Her forehead cortex is reconstruction. Almond body controls her brain, either counterattack or running away. Intimate some crazy things, but that's all short. If you want to help her, you need to take out your listening, patience, gentleness, humor, and empathy, not the truth and accusations.

Casey's story

Remember that we started to tell Casey? After her father and mother knew the truth of the matter, it was painful! At the advice of the consultant, they determined to make a change:

Kaishi's mother had operated several clothing stores, and the business was good, but it took her most of her energy. So she decided to put more time and energy at home. When the children came home, she would be at home! The sacrifice of mother's career has completely improved the family feelings!

Kaisi's father was upset at first, but finally admitted painfully that he was a bad father. He also made a lot of effort, listening, and participating in children's activities. Because he often travels on a business trip, he invited his daughter to travel with her during the Casey holiday. This trip made Casey see her dad's working situation. She knew that Dad was very capable and wise, but it was also very hard and stressed. On the first day of vacation, Casey and her father had a dispute again. She accused her dad of absence from her activities and yelled at her mother. , But finally breathing deeply, controlling this subconscious response, he apologized to his daughter and asked his daughter to tell all his complaints ... This broke Dad and her daughter, and the relationship between them gradually merged and improved. After the holiday, Casey happily told her mother that this was the best time in her life!

Finally, Casey came out of the shadow and became a sunny girl!